The Dragon Knight Once upon a time there was a knight called Rick. Rick had many friends among the knights. However, Rick didn’t want male friends. His craving for female friends became stronger and stronger each day, and he felt sad and lonely. There came one day when Rick got a mission to rescue Princess Helen. Helen was trapped in a castle guarded by a dragon. Rick thought it was a good opportunity to make a female friend, or even better--- a girlfriend. Quickly, he hopped onto his white horse and went for Helen. By the time Rick got to the castle, it was already dark. He couldn’t see very well but he dared not light a torch either, for he wasn’t sure if the dragon would see him. With dim moonlight, Rick found the front door of the castle and quietly he pushed open the door. It was blazing bright inside, and Rick found the dragon staring at him. The dragon’s coal black body was covered in scales, and its eyes were as red as ruby, Rick swore he saw flames in those crimson eyes. At the time they locked eyes, Rick knew immediately that it was love. He named the dragon Emma, and he rode on Emma’s back and flew back to his knight friends. Rick bragged about how he tamed Emma, and how Emma loved him. Rick celebrates with his friends and he got nicknamed The Dragon Knight. Rick lived happily with Emma, and he was content for a while, but a small part of him still wanted to be with a real female. He asked for his friends’ advice, none gave him a very good answer though. Tim never spoke; Kevin ran off to some foreign country with an Orange King*; Tom got a real girlfriend and decided not to talk to them anymore; Elcent was so antisocial that he told Rick to stop dating anyone. Finally, Rick thought of Helen. Rick rode on Emma again and took off. Helen should be freed the night he met Emma, but when Rick flew back to the castle, Helen was still there, feeding Rick’s abandoned white horse. “She must be an animal lover so she stayed here,” Rick thought. Rick had a look at Helen in the sunlight. Helen’s bare forehead was as shiny as diamonds; her receding hairline reminded Rick the ebb of tides; her lack of hair* made her hair flew along with the wind. “Beautiful,” Rick thought, and he fell in love with Helen. Rick took out the sword and stuck it into Emma’s neck. He saw flames extinguished in Emma’s eye, and then guilt made him look away. After killing the dragon, Rick went talking to Helen. “You’re so beautiful you must be Helen of Troy*,” said Rick, because this is the best he could think of. “You must be looking for your Paris*.” Helen looked utterly confused. “Helen of Troy?* I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I’d love to go to Paris for our honeymoon.” Turned out, Helen didn’t leave the castle because she loved animals, it was simply because she wasn’t clever enough to find a route to escape. Rick regretted killing Emma the dragon, at least as a mythical creature, Emma understood things Rick talked about; Helen was just dumb. So Rick and Helen went to Paris for their honeymoon. Rick lived a sad and sorrowful life with his pretty wife. Author's Note:
真是個悲傷的龍騎士的故事。請大家不要為了一時光鮮亮麗的事物而扼殺了真正愛的東西。 * 我們朋友Kevin跑去美國讀研究所啦棍,還跑去川普人氣超旺的地方,orange king 就是川普。 * 這段其實我寫錯了,Rick公司的怪妹仔太多,Helen其實沒有頭髮稀疏,我根本記錯人哈哈哈哈。 * Helen of Troy = 特洛伊的海倫;Paris = 特洛伊戰爭裡面娶了Helen的王子。希臘神話梗。 * 這跟原本寫給朋友看的版本還是微微有點不同。比方說,這句話後面還有接一句: I’m Helen of F****y (Rick公司名,po這邊要碼掉啦棍)。 Rick公司的臭蝦妹真的有夠多,故事寫不完呢。
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